I don't know about you but I really like to eat when I'm bored. It's sort of funny that I don't like to do anything particularly interesting when I'm bored, like reading a book or drawing a picture. Instead I like to sit, and eat, then feel bad about eating when I'm not even hungry. It doesn't seem fair that my natural reaction to an unpleasant feeling, in this case boredom, is not only NOT a solution to the issue, but moreover an additional irritant to the situation. I find that a lot of times I just end up making things worse when they weren't that bad to begin with if I just do whatever I want. Take for example procrastination. Say I have some assignment due in a couple of days. I'll think "gee I should get going on that.." then just not, instead I'll waste my time online or playing pokemon or something. Then as the due date looms closer and closer I move into more of a panicked state, which somehow cancels out any ability I once had to concentrate on the assignment.
It would seem maybe I just like food a lot or am a procrastinator at heart but it's really more than that because other times I keep myself busy and start things ahead of time. The shit really only hits the fan if the situation is more advanced. I think I need to reevaluate my reactions to moderate to severe unpleasantness. I should try to be more productive and then I could be happy with days. I just don't understand why self-sabotage is a completely natural response for humans- like feeling sorry for oneself.
On another note, I had a dream last night that I had an affair with this married lesbian woman who was a librarian at my high school, which I was attending (again?). Then she died in some sort of horrible murder and I was escaping town in my car because everyone was looking for her secret lover, who was actually me. I totally blame Sagan for putting the homosexual topic in there but that is like the 3rd high school dream I've had since break began. Must be the parent's house environment...
3 comments:
I agree. We do have strange reactions to relatively simple things. Like I get really angry about the smallest annoyance, and then I blow whatever it is that got me started way out of proportion until it is nothing like what first irked me. And then I feel terrible about it. Which is pointless, because I should really just not do it in the first place. And food as a solution for boredom is not so rare. Rather irritating, but a lot of us do it. I find myself checking and re-checking the fridge when I am bored. Although I rarely eat anything. I just like to look. What should we do about this? Maybe we should have some kind of boredom box with slips of paper that have ideas for what to do with all of our spare time. Because we rarely want to be bored, we are just unable to motivate ourselves to do anything, or even to think about doing anything.
And I must say that dream is rather telling my friend... rather telling.
-Sagan
you're totally a lesbo.
anywho: i totally understand. dude, it's so hard to want to do anything besides sleep for me. and when i am forced to be up, eating seems the most viable option (in fact, at the moment i'm feeling excruciatingly full). and bored. so here i am, trying to do something semi-productive with my waning evening instead of just giving up and watching fully flared bearing a creepy, high smile.
so anyway, i guess i'll go write about my problems, thus feeling more productive about my evening while hoping like a child awaits christmas for the wise words that will no doubt appear in the form of electronic "comments".
so leave some, bitches.
also, i think an idea box is a totally awesome idea, but i'm wondering how great it will be in real-life situations. i, for one, will probably go through the box of little sheets of paper discarding each as 'stupid' or 'too hard' or 'not my thing'. before long there will be a large pile of small papers accumulating in our kitchen.
sagan might do the same thing... only she would then destroy the box itself, creating even more mess.
laura would just shirk all responsibilities until she had done executed every 'idea' in one day. she might then hang it over sagan and rachel's heads.
just thinking.
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